I cried too much.. Why am I the stupid person that always against my own will to do something I like? I envy people that can pick and choose things they love to do. I hated myself for being pretentious and being unable to be an honest person What am I become of? I hated myself so much for becoming someone like that. I am the worst of all, the worst of all Why can't I just.. follow my heart? Why can't.. I do that? Where is my courage? I am sick and tired of becoming who I am Despicable me.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH