Confession

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when i was little, i used to burn bugs with matches and watch them squirm as their legs caught on fire. i knew it was “Wrong” then, but when i think of it now, i cry. the poor bugs.

I thought we had something going, we were obviously more than friends, everyone thought so…Then, I find out he has a date tonight, and it’s not with me. God, I hate this feeling. He’s going to leave me, just phase me out like I do to people. Now, I know how they all feel. I’m a horrible person and I’m going straight to hell.

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my roommate left her towel in the bathroom and she usually doesn’t, because she thinks that me and the other girls have cooties. So I peed on it or rather rubbed myself on it because we her out of toilet paper, thanks to her hyperactive colon. She didn’t do laundry for two weeks after that and she only has one monogrammed towel, because she is one unsanitary whore.

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I don’t have very many friends. In fact- there are only three that mean anything to me. One of them means a whole lot. He’s gorgeous. I just.. I can’t not think about him. He’s really hard on himself though- and it hurts. I’m hard on myself too. I’m a cutter. I don’t allow myself to be happy. I don’t allow myself to succeed. I like watching others fail or hurt because of something I did or said.. it just gives me another reason to hate myself. I don’t think tomorrow is worth going through today.

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Today I called a friend and yelled his name into the phone as loud as I could (it’s a joke between us). Apparently it was his dad who answered.

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Sex sucks Capital S

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I hate it where i live, i grew up in the country, now im in the city… people are so nosey here

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After a solid 2.5 year relationship with my boyfriend, I ended it. I thought I was doing the right thing but (I can’t believe I am saying this) but I MISS HIM SO MUCH. My intentions were to give each other space to grow and develop more.. but now I just talk to other guys to replace his absence.

But I don’t want to get back together. My reasoning is.. because I wanted change in the both of us to become better people, we should .. be better people before we get back together, right? How long will that take?? I am SO LONELY.

However………………….. I wish I loved him more. I accidently.. er, consistently, cheated on him for about 3 months :\ but thats another story! (er, secret!)

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I watch pornos solely for the plots.

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yikes. im happy i choose the right friends to have these days people i can trust who won’t go after people’s boyfriends and can be trusted lol

Group Hug