I don’t know whats going on.
I am so confused. Mostly about myself, and secondly about her. I can’t look in a mirror anymore without wondering what it is that people see in me…
Then she is confusing me again, sending me even more mixed signals than normal. She said something about kissing me, I don’t even know if she was serious. Then there was some sort of cuddling when I was with her at her sisters place. There were a few times that I almost just kissed her, but I really didn’t want to fuck anything up if she doesn’t… Now I wish I had just done it. Even if meant that it was awkward enough that I would have had to leave, I had places I have could have gone. What does she want? Does she even know? Does she know how confused she is making me..
Goddess, I love her so much, and I wonder if she meant it, or how she meant it, when she said she loved me more than words could say.
Can’t it all just go away…