I have slowly fallen madly in love with you and you with me, your true love is overseas while I sleep next to you every night trying to do whats right and just sleep. It seems the world around is falling to pieces and the urge to act grows stronger and stronger. We had our fling and the guilt after was almost unbearable. I’ve had a love turn unfaithful and the hole it created still remains; it aches every time we kiss and with every thought of taking you to be my own. The aching may be the only thing that keeps us from doing the unforgivable again and for that I am thankful; no one should feel such pain.
As life continues to throw harder and harder curves our way, you are always there to support me. When the pouring rains seems to have no end you flash that beautiful smile and the clouds part and the sun shines down, if but for only a moment. But what a wonderful moment indeed.
We share with one another all our thoughts and feelings, its no secret that there is a strong attraction between us. But when I dwell on the feelings you show me I always wonder what bliss he must be in to know that you are his. I am ashamed to show the jealousy I feel for your true love for I fear it may ruin what we already have. To lose you would crush me beyond recognition, I know that we must remain only friends but I am content with that if it means I can remain this close to you.
I wonder everyday what I would do if I were to lose you, and I must say just the thoughts give me the urge to find the nearest bottle and climb in as far as I can. I know you feel some of what I do, we’ve tried finding me my own true love and it almost tore us apart.
I am at a loss at what to do, the feelings between us grow more intense with every passing breath and its beginning to make things hard. I try my best to hide this from you because I don’t want you to think your at fault. I’m strong and the aching is nothing if I can hear you laugh and see you smile. We’ll figure things out, of that I am sure. I just want you to feel my love and know that I wish only for your happiness no matter the cost, however, if I could be witness to your happiness I would be forever grateful.
–C