I became exceedingly drunk last night at a friend’s house. As usual, he took the play-fighting too far and hurt my nose and one of my front teeth. Nothing broken or missing, but my nose is sore as fuck to the touch and my teeth hurt, although they aren’t crooked and still feel solidly placed within my mouth. He is a stagnant waste of my time, who will not advance past manipulating his friends and his broken family. He makes me sick to think about him.
I am cutting ties with the people who are bad influences on my life. he got me into drinking. he got me into smoking weed. I recently quit though. I refuse, I REFUSE to be brought down by him. I will be successful. I will be healthy. I hate you. I truly do, and those words carry deep meaning coming from someone who was raised on the principles of peace, love, and happiness. I can safely say I only truly hate two people I have ever met. He is one of them.
When you hurt me as much as you did last night, you made me realize how much of a fucking piece of shit you are. You will eventually kill someone, I know it. Your entire family has a stark history of mental illness. Your mom is an addict, one of your sisters battles with a skewed self image and eating disorders whilst the other is a violent, self harming, pornographic leech who sucks from the teet of the state while escaping reality with hard drugs. You can barely hold a five minute conversation with your twisted and disconnected father whose emotions and attitude can flip quicker than an SUV taking a hair pin turn at excessive speed. The verbal and physical abuse that follow shortly after are akin to the wreckage and the driver being ejected; horrifically fixating. All of these, ALL OF THESE disorders were instilled in you since the day you were born cold, wet, naked, and hungry. You are all things wrong with the world. You simply do not deserve to be alive. I mean that. What if our third friend was not there last night. You would have killed me if he did not pull you away from me long enough for me to drunkenly jog several miles in the dead of night.
You sicken me. You inspire a macabre amalgamation of guilt, distrust, self confidence issues, and a quiet, unyielding anger.
I cannot wait to sleep, and then exercise tomorrow, I know it will help me feel better.