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I’ve built myself up with everyone I know as an awful womaniser. I recently broke off things with a girl, and told everyone it was because she wasn’t hot enough. It was really because I realised I was still in love with my ex, and didn’t think it would be fair on anyone I dated if I was still hung up on someone else. That same ex had cheated on me for a year. When we broke up over it, I rebounded really quickly with a girl whom had a crazy obvious thing for me, and so the rumour mill churned out that my ex and I had broken up because I’d cheated on her. Knowing that she would be mortified at the thought of people knowing she’d cheated on me for a year I corrected nobody, and people still think we broke up because I cheated on her. I did, however, cheat on my last ex. We’d been arguing a lot, and I got drunk and kissed a couple of girls. I told her immediately and broke up with her, despite her saying she didn’t care, because I knew that if I knew she didn’t mind, I might do it again.

And everybody I know thinks I’m some sort of misogynistic prick. But the reality is, I’m just a soft touch. I wonder if I would get as many girls if they knew that.