My husband has never been good in bed and at one time we had an open marriage because I needed more. It’s been years since our marriage was “open” (honestly, I couldn’t stand him being with another woman…how bad is that!?) but I’m really sick of having either 1. no sex, or 2. really bad sex. The only reason why we had an open marriage before was so I could get GOOD sex once in awhile. I’ve talked to him until I’m blue in the face and he just doesn’t get it. I’ve told him what I like, what turns me on…he’ll do it once or twice and then never again. I have to KEEP telling him, over and over, to do those things that I like. Sex is mechanical, it’s done by SOP (standard operating procedures), it’s done the same way every time and I just got tired of it being ME who tries to spice it up or make it different. If left up to him, we’d either not have sex or we’d have the same, patterned sex that we have all the time (which, btw, isn’t all the time). I’m sick of it…I want REAL SEX!
I know what you’re thinking. Maybe it’s you. Ok, maybe it is, who knows. But he never tells me if it is. He has never said one bad word about my appearance, in fact is rather affectionate towards me outside of the bedroom. It’s just that when he gets in the bedroom, he has no idea what to do and no amount of me TELLING him what to do ever sinks in. We’ve been together almost 15 years, and for the first 3 1/2, I made all the efforts in the bedroom (but never realized it because it didn’t occur to me that it was happening like that). A year after we got married, I decided to stop being the initiator and thought I’d wait to see how long it would take for him to “come and get it”. After a month, I about went postal on him. I have no idea how long we would have gone if I could have stood it longer than a month.
So I want badly to cheat. And right now, it’s so bad, that I’m finding 63 year old men attractive! (I’m 35) This is insane! I’ve been fantasizing about this 63 year old man I know for the last week now…and he’s not even all that attractive! (He’s not ugly, at all, but he is NOT the kind of person I have ever found attractive before).
Something needs to happen to make my sex life better, because if it doesn’t, I will cheat. I HAVE to…or else who knows what I’ll end up screwing!