when i was 4 my dad died. sad i know, but whats even sadder is that when i think about it i want so badly to cry but i dont. i have feelings, but when i cant cry about my own dad dying and never having a father i feel so cold and depressed. another thing about my dads daeth is thats my mom always stick up for all the dumbass shit my older brother does because she thinks he was more affected by my dads death. its bad for me becasue my mom thinks im perfect and that i dont need help because i never really knew my dad, but i think it just as bad to have no memories of your father than to have alot. at least my brother has something to hold on to. i need help and im to afraid to ask my mom if i can go see a doctor because i am her good child and i dont want to make her feel like somehow she has failed raising me. also i would hate to make her pay, because sure we have money, but shes a single mom and i just feel bad when she spends money on me.
