Sometimes I feel extremely bad for not being the person I want to be or the person that everyone else wants me to be. I’m a good person on the outside. I respect everyone even if they’re being disrespectful to me and I always use manners. But sometimes when I’m alone with a girl or she’s in the same room as me I feel like raping her even if she isn’t that good looking. One time I felt a girl up but we were wrestling so she wouldn’t yell rape or whatever.
Also, I’m a goddamn procrastinator. I put off things until the very last minute when I’m crapping my pants and pulling out my hair. This is usually when some girl walks in and I feel like raping her. I’m afriad that one day I might actually do it.
Another problem is that I have “feelings” for almost any good-looking girl with a great laugh/smile. There’s this one girl right now that I hate because she’s one of those “my music is better than yours” bitches but she’s really beautiful and has the greatest laugh ever. I feel like raping her, too, but I can’t because I feel that I do love her.
I wish I could kill myself so I could finally be at peace before I do something stupid to myself or others, esp. Asian girls between 17 and 23.