I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up, or just cry and run out of my lessons and every minute at school is unbareable to the point where I want to break out in anger and scream and punch. I want to get away from it all. Yet when I am at home I feel a sense of unease as if not a soul trusts me and must hide everything from me. I feel so lonely. I just want a friend who trusts me as much as I trust them and will understand me. I feel like I’m alone even though I have such a wonderfull, loving family. Feeling like this makes me feel selfish and horrible and greedy because I shouldn’t feel like this, people have it much worse. I can’t pin point the source of my pain, as if it just randomly happens.
I want to give it all up, I feel like I just can’t take it anymore. I have counciling and medication but it just doesn’t feel right, as if after all the mistrust I recieve I can’t trust anyone either. I just feel like i’m never going to get better even after 2 years of this.
Oh god, I feel so empty.