I feel very sick right now, I’ve had constant dreams where I’ve been sexual intimate with almost every one of my close male friend and my boyfriend hasn’t even been present in these dreams. Lately I’ve had issues with his clingyness and have been feelign smothered. I’ve been tiring of his inability to keep his hands to himself in public places. Somehow, when were intimate everywhere, it diminished closeness all together.
This unsatisfaction caused by my boyfriend has somehow fanned the flames of my lust for my previous boyfriend. He’s dating a friend of mine but I cant help but yearn to touch him. Were good friends now and I know telling him this wouldn’t solve or help anything. Still it pains me to want him so badly, our past relationships have been if anything, extremely flawed. I know a relationship would never work, but I dont exactly want a relationship with him, I want to fuck him behind his girlfriends back as well as my boyfriends. Horrifyingly enough this seems to be the biggest factor in my wanting him. The secrecy and the pure evil of it all turns me on.
I’m not going to act on these feelings without being completey assured he feels the same. So I seriously doubt anything will happen, hopefully my love for my current boyfriend will return.
I’m sorry Dan, I cant help the way I feel.