Two years ago, something happened to me. It was a stupid, unspeakably meaningless event, and it physically caused a condition that has destroyed my life.
I have become completely incapable of feeling pleasure. Physical, sexual or otherwise. Two years ago I was on route to graduate school, with a small circle of close friends. Now I am preparing to drop out, and I’ve lost all social contacts. I have no friends. No family. Nothing that gives me any sense of even being alive. The only future I have is some meaningless 9–5 job at a bar or gas station.
Now I spend every night alone in my apartment, wishing that I could just sleep my days away.
I have neither desire, nor reason to live, but am too afraid to die. And nobody cares. I don’t want them to care.
I wish somebody would kill me.