Second confession ever. The first was about a week ago. I was hoping things would get better but they are getting worse. I was confessing that I have been long married, was completely faithful, but now can’t get another women off of my mind. I’m thinking because I have been so shut off to passion and romance for so many years that once this beautiful lady started flirting with me that I may have taken the signs completely the wrong way. Right now I feel sick and stupid about my previous thoughts. Some of my co-workers/friends were chatting over coffee and saying how flirty this women has been with them. I now believe I completely misread what I thought were signs but instead of being relieved, I am heart broken. She seems to be etched into my mind and I need to know how to get her out. It would be best if I could just not be around her for a long time, but we have the same circle of friends and she will at gatherings that I am at. I don’t think I can handle seeing her with or flirting with anyone else and still pretend that it does not bother me. She has my engine running and I cannot seem to shut it off. I am having a horrible time. I feel like I am on a collision course and I cannot seem to stop heading for the brick wall. I afraid that there is worse pain to come from this in my immediate future and that my passion will take over and I will be humiliated.
