haven’t felt this strong about someone since Mark. I know what I feel for Erik is not just a crush thing.It’s something more than that. Why has it been a month and I’m still upset that I had to leave and that he is no longer in my life? I shouldnt still be like this if I didnt have strong feelings for him. I cant let out my heart won’t let me right now. I wish I could so bad. I hate feeling like shit all the time. I’m becoming so good at not showing the pain I have inside.I wish he would just show in some way that he cares about me.Idc how I just need that right now. I just want to stop hurting and being soo depressed. I’m afraid to let anyone anymore. I’ve been hurt to many times. & the only other person I would let all the way in would be him. I’ve let him slightly in and I got hurt. i always seem to get my self hurt and I need to stop that. I always have feelings for guys thay WIILLL NEVER return the same feelings and it sucks so much. I just cant find a guy like him. No one comes close to him. It’s been 2 and half years and I havent felt any different.& I havent found anyone eles I would like to spend my time with. he is the man I have been looking for. I just cant get over the fact that he will never be mine and it sucks. Idk anymore. I just want this pain to go away. :((((
