I’ve fucked my life up royally. I became addicted to the internet at the age of 14, missed school, luckily was advanced to the 9th grade. Kept up the same bullshit, became clinically depressed, became very anti social.
I couldn’t attend school more than 2 weeks at a time, where i live you forfeit the semister after you miss about two weeks. So I ended up flunking a few years and had to get my GED.
Meanwhile, being depressed and bored often i began eating a lot. i’m now at probally 380 lbs. I’ve got no social life and pretty much all the same problems 7 years later. When I do hang out with people extensively they tell me i’m really funny and great to be around, i’ve had a good looking girlfriend whewn i was younger, but I can’t stop being depressed and muster and sort of willpower to go outside and do shit, I WANT to desperately, but I just cant do it. Soon I may have to get my stomach stapled. I’m sure, and hoping if i can shred my weight i can gain the confidence I need to be normal, and interact with people. I don’t have a low self esteem, I dont have one at all.
I feel worthless because i’m so fat, who would honestly want to be with a 378lb guy no matter if he was still handsome, funny, good personality. It’s the way the world works. i’m not desired, I want whoever i’m with to find me sexually attractive. Not utterly repulsive.