My boyfriend cheated on me about four months ago. It is killing me. I’ve had thoughts of wanting to kill her, and wishing that she would just be hurt badly. I know that I would never do such a thing, but I desperately want her gone. I know that is awful. The thing that is worse, is I cheated on him about two weeks ago, and can’t tell him. Even though when he cheated on me, he told me the next day. I refuse to tell him. I am a complusive lier, but yet I have never lied to him. Now I have, and I want to kill myself. But I know that I won’t cause, all I want is to be with my boyfriend. I am so in love, it hurts.