People always ask me why I dont pursue women, seeing how all my freinds are dating and looking for serious relationships. I say it’s because I am self sufficient, but really Im scared shitless. I am 23 and have never had a girlfreind, been on a date. Ever. My only sexual experiences save one has been with prostitutes. the first time I paid to have sex I was a virgin, and thought I had to have sex to become a man. Now I am sort of addicted to being a john, but I constantly disgusted by my ‘hobby’ and am left feeling empty afterwards.
And i feel like as time goes by my opportunity to change and become ‘normal’ slips away. And I cant tell anyone at all.
Ugh
