As much as i love people sometimes i really like to make them suffer.
I fuck random guys and i don’t feel bad, although i feel judged.
people tell me to slow down, to find respite in the calm but i can’t stop, i won’t, and i refuse to slow down.
something about hitting the brick wall is inevitable so i’d much rather hit it going 100 miles an hour.
dad.
you tried to kill yourself.
sometimes i wish you had succeeded.
i’m sorry all of us couldn’t make you proud enough to live vicariously through.
i will not visit the doctor to begin practicing my trade.
i will not swallow your falsities masked as truth.
i will not take the ring out of my nose, try god, or ever give up like you have.
i won’t live a lie. i’m sorry, but it’s just not who i am.
i will however burn your suicide note to me, and i will try to forget the words that are etched inside my mind.