i Dont hate myself but im not a big fan of myself; i’m FAT , 280lbs to be exact & i’m 5’3 SHORT & STUBBY; whatev. i have this fuck what you say attitude and claim nothing anyone says phases me , phew man is that a lie, but that’s not thee only lie i have in my life. i lost my virginity to myself while masturbating when i was 13. i meet guys off-line because there thee only ones who would actually give me the time of ; i take pictures with my boobs showing just so i can get attention. i had sex with over 15 guys just so i can feel good about myself; i lie constantly about things i don’t even need to lie about, deep down i’m a very jealous person. i don’t deserve the life i have most of the time because i do things people shouldn’t. i Trust to easy & love way to quickly, WHY? because i hope deep down that someone would actually feel the same way as i feel for them. i was adopted when i was a baby; even my real parents don’t love me ( so i thought _ but i grew out that pathetic stage because the BULLSHIT SPERM DONORS DONT DESERVE ME. my mother ( foster mother ) has been everything i ask for & more. the shit i do isn’t even something she would begin to imagine i would be doing , the little girl she raised as her own, & hoped she would be the first to get everything done just once , pfft i Try . Highschool? a drag i walk with my head down when im alone in the hallways because i know i’m unwanted. i try to fit in but i know i’m different. i ust pass with my grades , 65s-75s is my average , Freshman year i had a 55 average. i cut 3/5 times during that year , to have sex. Sophomore i found any excuse to stay home, the qirl who cried wolf huh. on the surface i seem like this Jolly human who’s always smiling and happy with everything and proud to be alive & My family & Friends Rant about me saying how good of a person; how beautiful & Sweet i am ; how AWESOME,COOL & AMAZING i Am ; how SMART.. Smart? hah , i feel stupid , ugly retarded , unwanted & unneeded. i don’t know why i’m here .. my reason for living is still unknown & hopefully i make thru life to actually figure it out… even if i have to pray to a god that a don’t believe in … Life. what is it?
– i’m currently reading the book on this website so i figured wth , why not speak about my stupid life as well; Thanks Gabriel Jeffrey for making this site & BOOK .
t(*-*)t peace out bitches .